When Words Aren't Warm Enough
by she.a.punk
Summary: Set During the events of The Return I and II. Keller and Ronon wonder what the evacuation order will mean for their future together. Angst, Romance and a happy ending. Est R/K, team friendship.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I was watching Season 3 episode The Return I & II and this little plot bunny popped into my head. When Keller is introduced it's established that she's been on Atlantis for a while, so theres nothing to say she wasn't there during this episode. But in my world, not only was she there, she was in an established relationship with our favorite Satedan! Please review if you enjoy! This is already finished so updates will come quickly! -Punk**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or Train**

_You and I were friends from outer space  
__Afraid to let go  
__The only two who understood this place  
__And as far as we know  
__We were way before our time  
__As bold as we were blind  
__Just another perfect mistake  
__Another bridge to take  
__On the way of letting go_

_Train - This Ain't Goodbye_

SGASGASGA

48 hours left

All over the city activity quieted as Dr. Weir's voice sounded over the citywide intercom. Then, as her speech continued, all activity slowed, and then came to a stop. What they were hearing it was…it had to be a mistake. Didn't it?

_"__As many of you know, the Deadalus encountered an Ancient warship traveling at near light speeds while we were conducting the Pegasus/Milky Way Gate Bridge test flight. The ancients on board have since been transported back to Atlantis and…they have expressed a great deal of gratitude for our guardianship of the city. However, it has…been decided that effective immediately the Atlantis Expedition will be put on indefinite hold. We will be returning occupancy of the city to the Ancients and evacuating all Atlantis personnel back to Earth. I…would like to reiterate how very proud I am of each and every one of you and the work you have done here on Atlantis over these last two years. I know you will all excel in whatever challenges your paths may bring you when we return to earth. I'm incredibly thankful for the time we've had together, as brief as it was. Please take the following 48 hours to make whatever preparations you need in order to get ready to leave. And Godspeed." _

After the intercom cut out it took Jennifer a few moments to realize how tightly she was gripping the tablet in her hand, her knuckles had turned white as she stared at the wall. She blinked a few times as she became aware of the alarmed and confused sounds of the other staff, their voices toppling over one another as they tried to make sense of what they'd heard.

"This can't be real!"

"Leaving Atlantis?"

"I always knew the Ancients were bad news."

"This is so unfair!."

Jen's eyes connected with Marie and then Carson. He looked confused and concerned and she, a little bit pissed.

A hand came down on her arm and she looked at it and then at the face attached to it. "Are you okay?"

Jen shook her head at the marine in the bed she'd been finishing up with when the announcement started. "I'll be right back."

She turned and placed the tablet in the opening at the end of the bed, shrugging out of her lab coat without breaking her stride as she headed for the door.

She wasn't okay.

She was nauseous and too hot and her chest hurt and her hands were shaking.

She was freaking the hell out.

SGASGASGA

Ronon's eyebrows knit together as Weir's words rung in his ears. Across from him at the lunch table Lorne's face betrayed the same confusion and anger he felt. Throughout the mess the words were settling in, their meaning becoming clear and the off duty scientists, marines and pilots were starting to talk, complain, commiserate, trying to process this sudden shift in their orders.

He stood, his lunch tray uncharacteristically untouched. He didn't care about their worry. Their anger.

There was only one person he cared about in that moment.

The burning twist in his gut told him everything was about to change, and not for the better.

"Ronon?" Lorne started, unsure of the guarded, worried look settling in across the Satedan's face. But before he could finish the man was disappearing out into the hallway.

SGASGASGA

Jen ran through the halls. She was overreacting, she was sure. It wasn't exactly dignified to be sprinting through the halls when there was no medical emergency. But, she supposed, they didn't know there was no medical emergency, so she ran all the faster in the direction her heart told her to go.

She rounded a corner and was three steps into the first flight of stairs that led to the Mess Hall level when she heard her name.

"Jennifer."

Her eyes snapped up and her insides broke open at the sight of him. He'd heard, he knew, as well as she did, what Weir's words meant. Not just for their teams, for their jobs. What they meant for _them_.

"Ronon." She breathed, her body slamming into his on the platform between floors. Her arms locked around his waist and she buried her face in his chest at the same moment that his long arms snaked around her body, one hand on her back, the other pressing against the back of her head.

"What are we going to do?" Jen mumbled, eyes screwed shut, hands fisted in the material of his shirt. She wouldn't cry, not now. Later, she was sure, tears would come, but now, right now, she needed all the energy she had to stay on her feet and keep breathing.

Ronon pressed his face to her hair and pulled her tighter against him. If he was honest in this moment he didn't know who was holding up who. He didn't answer her question. He didn't have an answer. What did the future hold? How would the next 48 hours shape the rest of their lives? He'd thought, in dark places inside he rarely let himself go, that it was unlikely they would get forever together. But, _god_, he'd thought they'd have more time than this.

All over the city, Jennifer's question fell from the lips of scientists who realized the greatest experiment they'd ever conducted would never be finished. From the mouths of marines who'd fallen in love with a person from a country their country was at war with. It rang in the minds of leaders who knew they'd never find another job as fulfilling, as challenging, as remarkable as this one.

Just what were they going to do now?

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_36 hours left_

Jen and Ronon sat shoulder to shoulder on her bed, staring at the messy room. Boxes were strewn about, a largely untouched pizza on the desk in the corner. The kitchen staff had requested several real deal New York Style pizzas a while ago and were saving them for "a rainy day". Well, the skies had never been cloudier.

Jen sighed and leaned her head on Ronon's shoulder. He reached out and took her hand, lacing her fingers with his and pulling his hand into her lap. He hadn't packed yet, but he didn't have very many things. Instead he'd chosen to spend every moment since Jen got off duty in her quarters, helping her pack.

They hadn't spoken much, each lost in their own thoughts until Ronon turned around to find Jen sitting at the head of the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest as she stared at her feet. Ronon had wordlessly dropped the packed back he was holding by the door and crawled across the bed to sit beside her. Across the room the seconds ticked by on the novelty clock on the wall that had a hypodermic needle as the second hand that Laura had given her for Best Friend's Day.

"So?"

Ronon turned to look at the top of her head. With great effort, Jen lifted hers and met his eyes.

"Ideas?"

He raised and lowered one shoulder. "Just two."

"I stay here," Jen started.

"Or I go there." Ronon finished.

They both nodded, staring at the wall again. Either option would have been fine…if it weren't for the fact that there was no going back. For one of them, the decision would be a one way trip. One of them would never again see their home, their friends and families. One of them would be a refugee from another galaxy, forever an outsider.

Neither was ready to ask the other for that kind of sacrifice.

"I'll go to Earth." Ronon spoke first.

Jen looked at him, eyes hopeful and full of tears. "You would do that."

"Of course," he smiled slightly, reaching over to tuck a piece of errant hair behind her ear. "I'd give up anything for you."

He let his hand cup her cheek gently and Jen's smile died before it reached her lips, guilt settling into her stomach.

She couldn't let him do that.

Sateda was gone but there were hundreds of Satedans left. And hadn't he just come bounding into her office a week ago, excited because the survivors were starting to organize and there was talk of establishing a new Satedan settlement? And, as much as she didn't like to think about it, she knew he wanted vengeance against the wraith for everything they'd taken from him. His home, his family, seven years of his life. She thought, in some small way, making the wraith pay for what they'd done gave him a semblance of peace. Gave him back some of the control they'd taken from him. She didn't have to like it to understand it.

And what kind of life would wait for him on Earth? An alien, from another galaxy. He would never be fully accepted. The SGC would always watch him, the government would never acknowledge him. He would feel confined. And Ronon didn't do well with confinement.

She sighed and laid her head back down on his shoulder.

"Or I could stay here. With you."

She felt him shake his head.

"Why not?"

"You can do more good on your world. You're a doctor. You can't do the things you do here without Atlantis. No one has the technology you need to heal the way you can here." He paused, "and it's not safe. There's no Wraith on Earth."

"That doesn't make it safe." She snorted, "I can't even walk the streets alone at night on Earth."

Ronon shifted. He knew Earth wasn't perfect but…it was safer there. Wasn't it?

He felt Jen get stiff and he looked at her again. He glanced down at their hands where she'd suddenly tightened her grip.

"What is it?"

Jen was biting her lip, holding her breath.

"I had a thought." She exhaled, "what if….what if the IOA won't let us be together?"

Ronon frowned. "We don't have to ask their permission."

Jen shook her head, her blonde ponytail swishing across her shoulders. "It's not like here Ronon. Here, we're a galaxy away. They can turn a blind eye to the relationships on this base because they don't have to see it. But there…they won't let you leave the SGC. Your very existence is classified. And I could be sent anywhere in the world. You might give up everything to go to Earth and…we might still never see each other again."

Ronon growled. The IOA's rules. The Ancient's supposed superiority. The Wraith.

Just once in his life he'd like to be able to choose his path for himself.

Jen dropped her head back against the headboard with a light thunk and closed her eyes. In a whisper, she said the question that was on his mind. The only question that seemed to matter anymore, the only question they couldn't answer.

"What are we going to do?"

SGASGASGA

_30 Hours Left_

The door to John's quarters opened mere seconds after she'd chimed and Jen squeaked, then flushed.

The colonel's mouth quirked up, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Mornin' Doc," he turned, waving her inside.

Jen stepped in, clearing her throat and balled her hands into fists at her sides to keep from fidgeting.

"I didn't know if you'd you'd be up yet."

"Yeah…didn't get much sleep last night."

He looked it. His hair was a mess, and not in the intentional way he preferred, and he stood with one hand rubbing the back of his neck, the other propped on his hip as he surveyed his half packed room. For once his commanding and self-assured presence seemed to have shifted to one side. Today he looked just a little bit…lost.

He came back to himself after spacing out for a moment, and it spoke to how troubled they both were that neither noticed. He threw her another halfhearted smile.

"So, whats up, Doc?"

Jen fidgeted, "I'm sorry," she began, kicking herself. Why did she always start by apologizing?

"I know you're busy. I just, I um, just wanted to ask you…something."

He waited.

"Okay?"

"I wanted to um, ask for a favor. Since you're the commanding officer on the base, I figured you'd be the one to ask."

"Sure Doc, anything you need."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_27 hours left_

Ronon and Teyla bowed quickly and began walking side by side to the edge of the gym where their waters and bags were settled. The gym was empty today, most people preferring to prepare for the evacuation over a workout. On his walk down Ronon had passed several crew quarters where the doors were open, beers and liquor having been broken out despite the early hour and people wandered from one room to the next, crying, laughing, reminiscing. It was a scene that would have given him college dorm flashbacks if he'd had any idea what that was.

Ronon had been wound too tight to even be tempted to want to join in the bittersweet revelry. He was full of nervous energy and anticipation and since Jennifer was busy helping pack up the infirmary, he went to find the one other person he guessed would be feeling as restless as him. Teyla had her bantos sticks in her hands when she opened the door.

"Have you decided what you will do?" She asked, pressing the cold water bottle to her forehead. Ronon didn't immediately answer, choosing instead to continue swallowing mouthfuls of water and stare at her over the top of the bottle.

"I hope you know you are more than welcome to join me and my people. We have already begun making arrangements to start a new settlement." She titled her head, "That is unless you have decided to follow up on the rumors of a New Satedan settlement?"

Ronon remained still, staring at a spot on the floor between them and she waited patiently for him to answer.

"I was thinking about Earth."

Teyla raised her eyebrows, though she wasn't as surprised as her expression made it seem. "Oh?"

He nodded, twirling his bantos absently in one hand, holding his water loosely in the other.

"Because of Jennifer?"

Another nod. She swallowed, careful to keep her features neutral. She'd been planning, anticipating, that Ronon would stay in Pegasus. Her closest friends of the past two years were all leaving tomorrow. She'd thought, hoped, she would at least still have Ronon nearby.

Teyla looked away briefly, chiding herself for the selfish thoughts. She knew it had not been easy for Ronon to open his heart to Jennifer. She knew better than most, maybe better than any, that his gruff exterior was largely just a façade. A shield he'd carefully crafted through his life to protect an incredibly kind, thoughtful, deeply caring man that was not easily reached.

The small, quiet doctor, it seemed, had not only reached it. She'd captured it whole.

"I would miss you." Teyla smiled, "but I understand."

Her smile faltered, and then slid into a slight frown.

Ronon tilted his head. "What?"

"It is nothing," she turned, busying herself by putting her things into her bag.

"Teyla."

She turned back to him, her smile back in place. "I am happy for you Ronon. I wish you all the best."

She reached for his upper arms, bending her head, but Ronon stepped out of her grasp, not returning the gesture.

"Speak your mind, Teyla."

She sighed, dropping her arms back to her side.

"I do not wish you to think ill of me."

He narrowed his eyes but remained silent.

"It is just that…I know you have felt, as I have…the people of Earth are not always as…welcoming as they could be." She hedged, watching him. "I only hope that there are more of them on Earth that are like Colonel Shepherd and Doctor Weir, than those that are like Colonel Caldwell and Sergeant Bates."

Ronon furrowed his brow and after a moment, he nodded.

This time when Teyla proffered her forehead, he bent to touch his to hers. She gave his arm a squeeze and smiled again.

"Do not look so concerned Ronon. I have seen you and Jennifer together. The Universe…has a way of bending to the will of love like yours."

Ronon watched her go, his gut still tight with apprehension.

The Universe had bent to bring he and Jen together in the first place. He wondered if this was asking too much. What if, this time, the Universe happened to break?

SGASGASGA

_10 hours left_

Jennifer sat stiff and defiant, arms crossed over her chest, cross legged in the middle of her bed, staring at the floor. Ronon was growling periodically, pacing back and forth between her bathroom and the door to the balcony.

"Well I can't just give up my career and live in a tent on some god forsaken rock in the Pegasus Galaxy!" She shouted, glaring daggers at the pacing Satedan.

Ronon growled, never looking at her.

"I happen to like the god forsaken rocks here. It's my home!" His voice was loud, louder than he'd ever been with her, but it didn't seem to bother her in the slightest.

"A home overrun with life sucking aliens!" She shot back.

Ronon flung his hand out, gesturing toward the view of the city out the window. "Better than being treated like some kind of freak because I wasn't born on a planet a billion miles away."

"Don't be ridiculous Ronon. They're not going to turn you into some kind of lab experiment." Jen rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, right." He glared, "And what are you in such a hurry to get back to anyway? You're the one that said woman aren't even safe to roam the streets alone on your planet."

"My father is there!"

"My people are here!"

They both stopped, breathing heavily. Jen had climbed to her feet and had jumped to her feet on the bed, now nose to nose with Ronon who stood on the floor in front of her. Their gazes locked in fiery intensity, muscles tense and coiled, ready for a fight. Both too stubborn to realized they weren't actually mad at each other.

It had been a long day. A long night before that. And neither was ready for what the morning would bring.

Jen blinked, inhaling sharply.

Again, John's words crashed into her from earlier in the day when hed met her in the infirmary. He'd stopped by briefly to give her the news on the favor she'd asked of him. The grim set to his jaw and tired pull on his eyes told her what she needed to know before he ever opened his mouth.

_I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do._

The IOA was clear. They didn't want Pegasus aliens joining the returning Atlantis Expedition during the evacuation tomorrow.

The line had been drawn in the sand and no amount of favors, at least not ones he could pull in on 24 hours notice, was going to change their minds.

Pegasus natives had to stay in Pegasus. Everyone else was expected at the SGC tomorrow afternoon.

It had put her in a terrible mood for the rest of the day. She'd been unthankful to John. She'd snapped at staff who were only trying to help. And then, later, she'd turned on Ronon, rubbing him the wrong way until they were in the biggest fight they'd ever had.

All because she was too much of a coward to say what was really bothering her.

Jen's face crumpled and tears rushed forward.

The sudden shift from rage to sadness startled Ronon out of his angry musings. Instinctively, he reached out to grip Jen's arms as her eyes filled with tears.

"Jen-"

"Oh Ronon," she gasped, swallowing hard agains the emotions building up in her chest and throat, "what are we doing?"

Her head bent forward to rest on his shoulder and Ronon closed his eyes, kicking himself. He knew he wasn't really mad at her. He was tense. Anxious. Overtired. A little hungry. But mostly, he was scared. Scared this would be the last night they spent together. The last hours they had before they were separated by a distance he didn't think he could bridge.

It was just easier to be angry than scared.

"I'm sorry, little one," he said quietly, all heat gone from his tone as he gathered her to his chest. She didn't respond, just locked her arms around his neck and his grip tightened as her body trembled. He started gather her close, hug her tighter and move toward a chair to one side, but a small shake of Jen's head stopped him and he stilled.

Slowly, she lifted her head and, without looking him in the eye, started dusting feather light kisses along his jaw, then neck. Her fingers unlocked from each other behind his head and pushed into his hair.

Ronon stiffened, trying to pull her arms back and step away from her.

"Jennifer, what-"

She leaned into him and with a slight hop, wrapped her legs around his waist, bringing her mouth down over his urgently. Ronon stumbled only slightly with the shift in weight and frowned, trying again to extract her hands from around his neck while her hips worked against his.

"Jen, stop!" He said forcefully. The sudden shifting in her moods was starting to alarm.

She did. Stilled completely and pulled back enough to look him in the eyes. She was satisfied to see his eyes had darkened slightly, clearly he wasn't immune to her advances. But mixed with the desire she saw concern and confusion. She bit her lip.

"Please Ronon. Tonight might be our last…" she licked her lips, her eyes falling to his briefly and then bouncing back up. "Please."

Ronon kept her eyes a second longer, assuring himself that she really wanted this. Really wanted him. He had wanted her for weeks, but had held back, wanted to be sure she was sure. Sure she was ready. But even as he searched he knew the decision was made. She looked so uncertain, so desperate. And she'd said please.

He could never deny her anything when she did that.

Slowly, he tilted his head to one side, pulling her back to him. Jennifer relaxed and let him set the pace, kissing him again, but slower. She sighed into his mouth and he was lost.

He would give her what she wanted. Give her all of him. But not rushed. Not frantic. They would go slow. They would explore every inch of each other. They would bring in the new day together, making love as if they had forever to spare.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_6 hours left_

Ronon pulled on his shirt and looked toward the bathroom door. She had been in the shower for an awfully long time.

They'd gotten to sleep sometime early in the morning, each wishing to get even closer than skin on skin. Then, before either was ready, Jen's alarm was going off, signaling the start of a new day.

The last day.

Ronon was looking for his shoes when a strange sound from the bathroom caught his attention. He tilted his head, an unsettling feeling blossoming in his gut. With a frown, he approached the door.

There it was again. Underneath the sound of water hitting tile and glass, there was another noise. A feminine sound. A small, high pitched noise he might have missed if he'd been any other man.

He waved his hand in front of the controls and the door slid open, billows of steam rolling out into the main room.

Through the steam he could see Jennifer's naked form in the shower. She was facing away from him, standing with her hands covering her face, forehead pressed against the wall. Now he understood the noise he'd heard. Her shoulders were shaking, and the sounds of her sobs were clearer with every step he took to close the distance between them.

Silently, he slid the door to the shower open and reached his hand toward her shoulder, his gut twisting uncomfortably. He wasn't ready for this day either.

"Jennifer," he said softly, but loud enough for her to hear. Her shoulders froze when he touched them, but she didn't move.

"Jen," he tried again, this time trying to pull on her shoulder to get her to turn around toward him, but she resisted.

Finally, heedless of the hot water cascading down on him and his fresh clothes, he closed the remaining distance between them and stepped into the shower, placing one hand on both her arms, trying to coax her around.

Jen felt his presence behind her before she felt the water begin to be deflected by his body. Her chest hurt and her cheeks were hot. She wasn't sure if a person could die of embarrassment but she was sure you could die of a broken hurt.

Either way she knew she was a goner.

She had held it together so well all night. She'd wanted to be strong for him. She'd made a deal with herself that if she managed to keep the hysterics to a minimum she would allow herself to fall all to pieces when she was in the safety of her bedroom at home. But alone in the harsh light of day she realized it was really happening. They were really leaving Atlantis behind. Leaving him behind.

She'd been sure the sound of the shower would cover the sound of her cries.

Of course she should have counted on Ronon's keen hearing.

His hands were on her arms, gently prodding her to turn around again. She shook her head, kicking herself for being so weak-willed as to allow him to catch her crying.

"Jennifer." He said quietly. But there was something…different in his voice.

Curiosity piqued and momentarily overcoming her shame, she allowed him to turn around and face him. He was soaked, head to toe, the water causing his light linen shirt to stick to his skin. But she didn't notice any of that. Instead, her eyes were locked on his face.

It could have been just the water from the shower, she would never know for sure if there were tears in his eyes. But the heartbreak she saw there was the exact feeling she felt burning her alive from the inside out.

In an instant Jen had slammed her body against his, her face buried in his shirt and the sobs were back to racking her slight frame and she vibrated against him. Slowly, Ronon turned, keeping her close, until he felt the wall at his back and he slid down until he was seated on the floor, Jen's small form tucked under his chin and spread across his lap. He closed his eyes and sighed as the shower rained down over them, wondering if a prayer to the Ancestors would do him any good.

"What if we never see each other again?" Jen whispered, her voice almost lost in the rhythmic din of the splashing water.

Ronon squeezed her again, shaking his head.

"No. Somehow…I will find a way to get to you." He whispered back, and just like that, he believed it. Somehow, some way, he would find a way to keep this vow. "We will be together again."

SGASGASGA

_0 hours left_

Jen watched as Teyla and John leaned apart. The Athosian custom of forehead touching had become second nature to them all over the last couple years. He gave her a roguish smirk and she smiled, slapping him lightly on the arm for whatever it was he had whispered for her ears only. After a moment both of their smiles slipped into something more sentimental and soft.

_I'll miss you._

Teyla sighed, something warm in her eyes as she watched John step away from her and toward Ronon.

"Stay out of trouble Chewie." John stuck out his hand.

Ronon smirked at his CO, his eyes narrowed in mirth and bypassed the hand completely. He bent slightly and wrapped his arms around Shepherd in a bear hug, lifting the man's boots off the floor. The colonel grunted and everyone standing around, including Carson, Weir, Teyla and Jen laughed lightly.

Ronon put John back on the floor. "No promises Shepherd."

Weir had stepped forward and was touching foreheads with Teyla and then turned to Ronon.

"I hope you don't plan to do that to me as well," she said with a raised eyebrow, but her mouth quirked in teasing. Ronon smiled slightly and stuck his hand out to shake the woman's hand.

"Oh sure, her hand you shake." John grumbled good-naturedly.

Jen gripped both of Teyla's arms, smiling through tears at the Athosian.

"I will miss you greatly Jennifer. I am thankful for your friendship and all you have shown me." Teyla spoke with practiced formality, her dignity a stark contrast to Ronon's playfulness and the human's banter.

Jen nodded, wishing the tears in her eyes would rush back inside where they belonged. She didn't want to be the one bringing everyone down when they were all trying so hard to bring levity to the day.

"Goodbye Teyla." She whispered when their foreheads touched gently.

Teyla leaned back and nodded once more before directing her attention toward her companion, whose green eyes were locked with such intensity on the doctor that he must have been trying to commit every hair on her head to memory. Slowly, Jen dropped her arms to her sides and turned toward Ronon, but kept her eyes on the floor.

First she saw his boots, rough and rugged below his favored leather pants. Miles of legs above them the bottom of his brown leather coat brushed agains the hilt of his blaster. Then there was the edge of the tan linen shirt, now dry, and the necklace he wore with symbols only he understood engraved on the wooden beads tangled with the leather cord that had a wraith tooth strung on it across his chest. She felt his hands come to rest on her shoulders and her eyes skipped up slightly passed his goatee to his neck and rested briefly on his clan tattoo. Out of habit, her hand came up and she ran her thumb across it gently.

His dreads were down, framing his face. Strong square jaw. Soft full lips. Wide straight nose. Thick eyebrows punctuated by small circular scars to one side of the left. And finally, deep green intense, warm, watchful eyes.

Suddenly the puddle leapt to life and the room was bathed in blue light and Jennifer inhaled sharply. Her fingers tightened their hold on his arms. She started to panic.

Wait. She wasn't ready.

Not yet.

"Ronon I-" she squeaked, blinking hard.

Ronon squeezed her shoulders and forced a smile to his lips, wishing to show the bravery he didn't quite feel. In his peripheral vision he saw the others disappearing through the event horizon one by one until only Jennifer was left.

"Remember what I promised you." He said quietly. Jennifer took a deep breath and he saw she was calling his words to mind as she steadied herself.

_We will be together again_.

He dropped a kiss onto her lips and then her forehead.

"Go." He rumbled against her hair.

She nodded, and with strength she didn't know she had, she let go of his arms, turned toward the puddle and trudged toward it, feeling cold and numb.

She hesitated at the last second and turned around committing this room, his face, to memory one last time. She wanted to believe his promise. But she didn't know if she could. She turned and stepped through the event horizon.

Even before her feet landed on the ramp at the SGC, Jennifer Keller knew she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life.

Moments after she was gone the gate shut down and the blue light blinked out. Teyla sighed, her shoulders sagging, the chevrons were already being locked into the place to dial the Athos settlement.

She turned to look for Ronon, to offer comfort, to receive some.

But he was already gone.

TBC - One more!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_6 Weeks Later_

John hung up on Rodney and sat back in his chair. God he missed Atlantis. His old team. His old life. It had been six weeks and he didn't feel like things had gotten any easier. He hadn't gotten used to falling asleep without the sound of the ocean in the background. Couldn't get used to his new team that seemed to have all of McKay's bad luck and none of his intelligence. Would never get used to being under the watch of the all-too-close IOA and the domineering thumb of the military. It had been so much easier when they were a galaxy away. It had been simpler then. If he and Elizabeth agreed, they did it. If they didn't, they argued about it until they did.

Here he was nowhere near the top of the food chain. Every decision was out of his hands and every idea had to be written up and passed up the chain of command ten times before it got a response. Nothing happened fast, if it even happened at all. He was lost in bureaucracy hell.

He leaned his head back on his chair and closed his eyes and snorted slightly in a laugh. It was ironic actually. There were more people on this level of the SGC than there were on all of Atlantis. And he hadn't felt this alone since a barren, war torn desert in Afghanistan.

He sighed, climbing to his feet and heading toward the door. He was looking forward to dinner tomorrow with the others. There was just one more person he needed to invite.

SGASGASGA

Jennifer stood in the back corner of her office. Arms wrapped around herself, she stared out the window up at the stars. It made her feel cold, alone, to see them. They were familiar, she'd memorized many of the constellations as a child. Gemini. Hydra. Leo. But they weren't the ones she was looking for. The ones she wanted.

Weeks ago. Lifetimes ago, Ronon had been teaching her the Pegasus constellations. They'd lay side by side out on the West Pier late into the night, hands entwined while he pointed at patterns of stars in the new sky. He would rumble their names at her and she would listen carefully.

Delphian. Sargintor. Ronon'kaffa, his namesake.

It had been important to him for her to learn them, to be used as navigation in the event of a worst case scenario. It had been important to her because when he was off world she would sit through the night on her balcony with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and head tilted back toward the sky. She would tell herself wherever he was, at least they were looking up at the same stars.

They didn't even have that connection anymore.

A knock sounded on her door and she turned around, swiping her hands across her eyes quickly and needlessly reached to straighten the papers on her desk.

"Hey Doc." John stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the doorframe. Jen wasn't as good at hiding her post relocation depression as she wanted to be, but he pretended not to notice anyway. It wasn't as if he thought his way of handling things, that is, pretending everything was fine, was any healthier.

"Oh, hi Colonel, how are you?"

"Fine. No complaints." He shrugged, it was an easy lie. "Just checking to see if you needed me for anything else? Are Bambus and Wallace gonna make a full recovery?"

Jen gave him a knowing smile. It was no secret that John had been less than impressed with his new team, not that she blamed him. She was rather partial to his old team herself.

"They're both fine. Went home with painkillers and crutches all around."

John nodded, "That's a relief."

Jen raised an eyebrow that said she really didn't think it was.

"Don't give me that look Doc." He smiled and reached up to scratch the back of his neck. "You got plans for dinner tomorrow?"

Her head snapped up to him and his eyes widened.

"No! I mean, Rodney and Carson are coming to town. We were gonna get Weir and go to dinner, thought you might like to join us."

"Oh," Jen smiled, "I wish I could. I'm on duty. And I have to pack for Luxembourg. I leave in the morning."

He nodded. He'd heard she was being considered for a director position at a prestigious research hospital in Europe.

"Congratulations, by the way."

She nodded, "It's a great opportunity." She bit her lip. That was the line she'd been giving herself for three weeks since the offer came in. She hoped by the time she landed tomorrow she'd believe it.

John shifted his weight and jerked his head toward the hall, "Lets go get some food now, then. If I know you you haven't eaten anything that didn't come from a vending machine all day."

Jen made a noncommittal noise and John guessed that was her way of telling him he wasn't wrong. In some ways it was nice to know some things never change.

She glanced at her watch. "It's past 10. You should be in bed."

"And you shouldn't?"

Jen shook her head. "I'm a doctor, we don't sleep."

"Yeah, Ronon mentioned that." As soon as he said it, John regretted it. Jen's eyes clouded and the easy, if not superficial tone of the conversation plummeted to the floor under the weight of the sadness that fell across her face. She went back to shuffling the papers on her desk more dutifully than before.

John winced, "Uh. Sorry." He stepped forward, waving her toward the door. "Look, lets just go get something to eat and I promise to try not to stick my foot in my mouth anymore."

Regrouping, Jen lifted her head again and forced a smiled. "I'm not hungry John. I promise I'm fine. Just a few things to finish up and then I'll leave."

He sighed. Then pulling his hands out of his pockets, John moved forward and flopped into the chair in front of her desk.

"Okay, no problem. I'll just wait." With faux nonchalance he kicked his feet up onto the corner of her desk and slouched down in the chair until his head was resting against the back. Folding his hands on his chest he closed his eyes as if to sleep. A second later he jerked forward when his feet were pushed to the floor.

Jen stood in front of him, hip leaned against the same corner his feet had just been, arms crossed over her chest.

"Are you handling me John Shepherd?" She asked, smiling and raising an eyebrow.

He gave her his best smile. "Would I do that?"

After a momentary showdown which he easily won, she rolled her eyes.

"Fine!"

Quickly, she went around the room, locking drawers, pulling on her jacket and fishing her keys out of her purse.

"You're impossible."

_As impossible as Ronon was. Is. Was._

"Thank you." John responded, knowing full well it wasn't a compliment.

He followed her down the corridor after she locked her office, enjoying the easy argument over where to go to dinner.

"I want Sushi."

"But I hate Sushi."

"I know."

"If I wanted to eat raw food I'd sign up for a survival refresher course."

"Sushi, John."

In the end they ate Sushi. After all, Ronon had made him promise to make sure she slept and ate. He hadn't said Shepherd had to like it.

SGASGASGA

_29 hours later_

John could see the warm yellow glow of fire and candles inside the Athosian's tents as they picked their way through the forest toward them. His lips quirked when Ronon appeared outside of one of the tents followed quickly by Teyla, it looked a little bit like they were arguing.

He wasn't surprised, he couldn't imagine the Big Guy was in a very agreeable mood of late. And Teyla was always a caring, but occasionally slightly bossy older sister to Ronon's equally occasionally petulant younger brother tendencies. He heard a sharp intake of breath from the petite blonde beside him when she caught sight of the Satedan and shook his head with a smile when she took off at a dead run, pulling out ahead of the rest of them.

At least Rodney, Carson and Weir wouldn't be quite as shocked at the reunion as they could have been.

_"__Why is she coming?"_

_"__Thanks Rodney," Jen made a face and smacked him on the shoulder, dropping her bag in the back of the Jumper._

_"__No I just…I mean," Rodney stammered, looking at John, then her, then John again. "Our rescue doesn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence what with the two medical doctors, two PHDs and one solitary person with military experience. And a pilot at that!"_

_"__Watch it McKay, dial the gate." John warned, his hands flying across the controls as he started the puddle jumper's engines. He continued in a clipped tone, forehead pinched in concentration. "I agree, we could use a little more firepower, which is why we're gonna go get Teyla and Ronon. And I figured Ronon would be a lot more likely to help us if I didn't leave his girlfriend in another galaxy."_

_Three heads swiveled to look at Jen, who was bracing herself against the bulkhead that separated the two sections of the jumper. She smiled weakly at their half shocked, half impressed faces._

_She shrugged. "Surprise."_

Ronon tensed when he saw movement in the trees approaching him and Teyla at a sprint. His hand fell to the hilt of his blaster and withdrew it to point across the clearing at the same moment the figure stepped into the light of the fire and he heard his name.

Jennifer didn't stop, didn't even flinch at the sight of his blaster, just launched herself into the air without a doubt in her mind that he would catch her.

Ronon thought he might have been hallucinating, or back in his recurring dream of the last six weeks. But then Jennifer's body leapt into the air and crashed into him, every bit as real and warm and smelling of flowers as she had ever been. And he was lost. His eyes slammed shut and a noise of relief and disbelief sounded in the back of his throat. If he hadn't needed to steady himself to keep from falling on top of her his knees probably would have buckled from beneath him.

Jennifer pressed her face into his neck and squeezed her legs around his waist, idly she wondered if they could complete the mission from this position because she honestly never wanted to let him go.

Eyes closed, inhaling this moment, this woman, Ronon still sensed the others break the tree line. When he opened his eyes they met John's immediately and he made a point of nodding imperceptibly.

_Thank you._

Shepherd nodded back, the smile on his face tempered by the seriousness of the situation.

_Don't mention it._

Ronon pulled back slightly to look Jennifer in the face. She was crying and smiling, embarrassed but happy.

"It's good to see you, little one." He whispered, not quite able to pull himself out of her eyes, despite the fact that Shepherd's face, and their very presence, was telling him that something must be wrong on Atlantis.

Jennifer blinked and nodded, throwing her arms back around his neck and pulling him close again, her whispered words tickling his ear. "You have no idea."

John stepped forward, clearing his throat. "I hate to interrupt but…"

Jennifer hiccuped a laugh and slowly unwrapped herself from Ronon as he carefully put her on the ground.

"Sorry Colonel." She smiled, wiping her teary eyes and leaning into Ronon's side when he wrapped his arm around her.

John waved off her apology and Ronon finally tore his eyes off her.

"So what's wrong now, Shepherd?"

SGASGASGA

_8 hours later_

The sun was coming up over Atlantis, bringing in a new day. Jennifer stretched, luxuriating in the sunbeam and then rolled over, laying her head on Ronon's chest. In response to her movement he shifted, wrapping his arms around her tighter even than they had been.

"Sleep." He grumbled.

She sighed contentedly. "I'm trying." She drug one finger up his hard stomach, following the ripple of each muscle. "You're very distracting."

Ronon hummed. He was exhausted from the rescue, the running around the city planting C4 they didn't intend to blow. The hours of celebration he and Jen had enjoyed once they bid the others a good (very late) night, with assurance from Weir that General O'Neil was going to let them all stay.

Sleep sounded very good to him.

Jen smiled, yawning.

After a few seconds of silence Ronon opened one eye to find her staring at him.

"Yes Jennifer?"

Jen grinned. "I'm just happy to be back. With you."

She dropped her head closer to his, brushing her nose across his cheeks, nose, eyelids.

"I told you we'd be together again." He whispered, his whiskers tickled her ear.

"I know," she nodded, "I will never doubt again."

With a contented sigh Jen dropped her head and Ronon tucked it beneath his chin, smoothing one hand across her hair and resting it against her back. The sun poured in the window, warming their weary bodies.

And they both slept better than they had in weeks.

_END - Thats all folks! I hope you enjoyed it!_


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